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I think my dad might have a clue about me being gay, but he pretends the opposite.

I have always wanted to be happy. Being a happy person has been my goal since I was a kid, and, even if it was late, I got what I wanted.

As a kid, I was brutally bullied by my peers and mentally abused, making my childhood very traumatic. I tried my best to fight back, but I couldn’t. However, college life was like a new beginning for me. When I entered college, it gave me the opportunity to express myself as the person I was. In the beginning, I was just trying to fit in. I had wanted to be the openly out queer person at my college, but the thought of making someone uncomfortable always worried me. That aspect of me reminds me of Charlie from ‘Heartstopper’. I started dressing more gender-neutral. My wardrobe now expanded to include crop tops, jumpsuits, and baggy clothing. I love my body, so I began to dress and express myself the way I wanted to. A few months into college had made me this wildly extroverted person, probably the way it had been for Alex from ‘Red, White, and Royal Blue’. Though not a lot of people liked me doing that, I also came out to a lot of people. And, as a result, I lost so many friends. At that time, it was very hard, and it led me into depression and mental disturbance.

I was not out at my home either. I came out to my mom two years ago, but she thought it was a phase. And now that I have stopped being feminine in front of her, she thinks I am changed. I think my dad might have a clue about me being gay, but he pretends the opposite. I also haven’t tried to talk to him about it, as I fear I might get kicked out. I have an emotional support system, thanks to my friends, but unfortunately, as of now, I don’t have a financial support system to help me out. Sometimes, I still get bullied for who I am and what I wear. I don’t think it bothers me every single time, but still, it gets tough to deal with sometimes. However, now I have started to be happy with myself. I am happy, out, and proud of myself to all my supportive friends.


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