I talked to an online friend of mine who assured me it was normal to be attracted to both men and women.

Growing up, we moved around quite a lot. Even though my hometown is in Siliguri, but because of my dad’s job, I spent a majority of my teenage and adult years in parts of North India. Initially, in my teen years, I felt attracted only to men. Meanwhile, I used to watch a lot of American television, and seeing women and sexuality being explored in those shows, I used to feel something, something that I couldn’t quite understand. Even during college, I used to see women differently. And while my friends would be appreciative towards them as well, somewhere I knew I was looking at "her" in a different way than my friends did. I’d always admire their feminine beauty and energy in a way that I could never explain or articulate.

As I shifted back to my hometown a few years earlier, I talked to an online friend of mine who assured me it was normal to be attracted to both men and women. I hadn’t understood bisexuality as a term quite properly then. They told me what it meant, so I started looking at that and suddenly, it just “clicked”. Things then rapidly shifted for me when I attended my first "Pride Walk" in my hometown. While my parents were apprehensive, I was adamant that I had to go.

I came out to my parents soon afterwards.

The sense of belonging and community I felt, and continue to feel in queer spaces, is beyond words. It always brings me such a strong sense of comfort & ease. Living in different cities, spaces, being of Nepalese descent, I’ve often felt out of place even in my own hometown. But with my queer community, I’ve found my place, my home, and comfort for which I’m truly grateful.

To everyone reading my story, I just want to say, there’s no time to embrace your identity and preference. I’ve embraced my sexuality in my early 30's, and even as years have passed, I continue to explore more about myself. One thing I believe is that self-exploration & working on yourself is a process that never stops. There's no one way or stereotypes you need to follow when it comes to being queer. It's about accepting your own self and then letting that version "bloom" in its own time. And I’ve been able to be my authentic version because of the safe space my queer friends, my partner & my family have created for me. Always in my corner, my pillars of support, the security and freedom they've given me has helped me express myself, genuinely.