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Mai same sex and same gender ki taraf attract hoti hu; Mai ek ladki hu aur mujhe ek ladki se hi pyar hai aur mai ussi ke sath hi rehti hu

I always lived like a boy in terms of dressing style, having a boy cut because "Meri family me koi ladka nahi hai." My family never stopped me or set any boundaries for how I lived my life. However, around the age of 10, when I wasn't getting my periods, my mother became concerned. She gave me various types of medicine, even though I wasn't aware of what they were. "I went through this journey for three years, and I got my periods at the age of 13."

When I started menstruating, my mother imposed many restrictions on me, expecting me to present myself in a feminine way. I respected my teacher, so my mother asked him to help me understand that I should behave like a girl. I tried to comply out of respect for my teacher, but I couldn't continue doing so "kyunki mai kabhi apne aapko is tarah accept hi nahi kar paya."

I belong to a typical Muslim family from Kolkata. I was pressured into thinking about marriage at a very early age. My father was working in Saudi Arabia for financial support, and I managed the household finances and other responsibilities. I always felt a lack of love from my mother and sister, as my sister never supported me.

In the midst of all this, I met my partner through Instagram. She casually said, "pata nahi kyu mujhe aapse pyar ho gya hai," and I responded, "Haan mujhe bhi lgta hai pyar ho gya hai kyun ki pta nahi kyu bina baat kiye reh hi nahi paate hai." I also met a supportive queer friend on Instagram. Due to marriage pressure and all, I decided to leave home. On November 5th, 2019, I left home without knowing how to take a train to Mumbai. A helpful man at the station assisted me with the route and ticket. I had good knowledge of software, so I adjusted my GPS settings to ensure my family couldn't track me.

I met my partner in Mumbai, and we spent a week there before moving to Delhi with the help of our friends. We had about two months to settle in Delhi, and I started working in the corporate sector. Initially, it was tough for us due to differences in virtual and physical interactions. However, we soon found a balance.

After a year, I contacted my family and told them, "Mai same sex and same gender ki taraf attract hoti hu ; Mai ek ladki hu aur mujhe ek ladki se hi pyar hai aur mai ussi ke sath hi rehti hu." It took them some time to understand, but they accepted me and my partner warmly. We even visited Kolkata to meet them, and my mother enjoys spending time with my partner. Now, I've opened a garment shop for my father, who has suffered a stroke.

I am also associated with queer individuals and organizations like Action India and Himachal Queer Foundation. I am working towards a Gender Fellowship.

In the future, I plan to adopt a baby.

The best part of my life is my friends, whom I trust blindly, and the realization that my parents have accepted me and acknowledged their mistakes. I want to have my own home in Delhi, run a business, aur chahti hu ki "main aur meri partner aakhiri pal tak sath rahe." My partner's family still doesn't accept me, and I hope they will recognize our relationship someday. I want to share with everyone that we can have a beautiful life together.


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