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However, I refused to let this disease define me. I decided to use my experience to help others, and I started working with an NGO to spread awareness about HIV/AIDS.

Written by Haridev Varma (He/Him)

Queerspeak 1.0



2019 was a year of personal growth and transformation for me. It was a year that tested my strength and resilience, but it also taught me valuable lessons about love, acceptance, and the power of overcoming adversity. I am grateful for the experiences I had in 2019, as they have shaped me into the person I am today. 

The year started with a sore throat and frequent headaches, which led me to the hospital. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a journey that would test my strength and resilience in ways I never thought possible. The doctors prescribed the Nucleic Acid Test (NAT) as a precautionary measure, and when the results came back, I was instantly weak and brittle. I had tested positive for HIV/AIDS. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was overwhelmed with a sudden thrust of denial. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. I had so many questions, but the most important one was, "How did I get infected with this disease?" 

As I reflected on my life, I realized that being gay had always been hard for me. I was born and brought up in a very conservative family, and by the time I was 16, I knew that I was not into women. I was bullied and hit by my classmates for being too feminine, and this continued even when I shifted schools. However, when I reached college, the world opened up for me, and I felt more freedom and love from the people around me. This encouraged me to enter the stage of dating, and I found comfort and love. 

Dating made me realize that most men are very scared of coming out and holding hands in public, and this made me realize how pathetic the situation is in the first place. Later, I was in a relationship with a guy who was comfortable with his sexuality and was open about our relationship to other people as well. It made me really happy, but unfortunately, he had to leave India, and this led to a phase that I could describe as hell. 

After experiencing AIDS symptoms, I took the NAT test, which confirmed my worst fears. I was an HIV/AIDS patient. This news changed my life forever. I applied for jobs, but I was rejected when they checked my medical data. I realized that I would be dejected and ostracized, and possibly fired if anyone came to know about my condition. 

I faced violence within my family when they came to know about my sexuality, and the lack of understanding among people about AIDS leads to violent crimes against queer individuals. However, I refused to let this disease define me. I decided to use my experience to help others, and I started working with an NGO to spread awareness about HIV/AIDS. 

Today, I have a better life surrounded by people who support me and help me. I have learned that life is not always fair, but it is up to us to make the best of what we have. I have also learned that love and acceptance are the most powerful tools we have to fight against discrimination and prejudice. I hope that my story will inspire others to be brave and to stand up for what they believe in, no matter what challenges they may face. 

However, despite the progress I have made, there is still a long way to go. More support, testing, and awareness are needed. The lack of legal support makes it hard for people like me to live a normal life. I

hope that my story will inspire others to fight for their rights and to stand up against discrimination and prejudice. 

2019 was a year of personal growth and transformation for me. It was a year that tested my strength and resilience, but it also taught me valuable lessons about love, acceptance, and the power of overcoming adversity. I am grateful for the experiences I had in 2019, as they have shaped me into the person I am today. However, there is still a long way to go, and I hope that my story will inspire others to fight for their rights and to stand up against discrimination and prejudice.


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